The Beauty & Goodness of God’s Design in Marriage

Marriage is good, marriage is beautiful and marriage is honorable. Marriage is good, beautiful and honorable because God made it and designed it and all that He does is good. In his wisdom and creativity God came up this beautiful design we call marriage. In the beginning God created all of this creation good, lovely and beautiful.  After God made all that he made He saw that it was good. He made the heavens and earth and everything on earth and in the heavens. Then He made mankind in His image. He made male and female in His image (Genesis 1:27). Mankind was made to reflect and represent God here on this earth especially through the design of marriage. The greatest beauty and goodness seen in marriage is when a husband and wife reflect and display God’s love and faithfulness. That is when they both reflect the good and glorious character and nature of God towards one another and others.

God’s beauty and goodness is put on display through the COMMITMENT of Marriage. In the bible God likens himself to a faithful and loving husband that is committed to the good and wellbeing of his bride. And so often His people had been unfaithful and disloyal to Him, turning their backs on Him and going after other lovers or gods. However, God has kept on loving his people, providing for their needs, delivering them from their enemies and afflictions. God is committed to His people He is committed to loving, caring, providing & protecting His people. One of the most frequent words that the bible uses to describe God’s commitment to His people is the word covenant. And God keeps his covenant with his people. He has made covenants with his people throughout history in which He has been faithful to keep. God is a faithful, covenant keeping God. He is SO committed to doing good to His people that He sent His Son Jesus from heaven to earth to live as a human and lay down His life sacrificially in death in order that His people would enter into an everlasting covenant with Him. Jesus established this everlasting and new covenant through His body broken for us and His blood shed for us. That is love!

This is the kind of sacrificial love and faithfulness that the Apostle Paul exhorts husbands to show towards their wives.  He wrote Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). The ultimate purpose and meaning of marriage is to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church. I think it is worthy to note here that at the beginning of the bible there is a marriage (Genesis 2:21-24) and at the end of the bible there is a marriage (Revelation 19:6-10). Marriage is foundational to God’s design in human society and an important aspect of redemptive history. At this point I think it is appropriate to define what marriage is and what it is not especially in light of the Supreme Court’s decision to institutionalize so called same-sex marriage in the United States of America.

Marriage is not merely two people living together having sexual intercourse.

Marriage is not merely a contract or piece of paper that you sign that the state recognizes.

Marriage is not merely a social transition that advances you and your family’s social and financial status.

Marriage is not just a positive feeling that you get for another person when you’re with them.

Marriage isn’t merely a means to make one happy.

Marriage is not merely two people of the same sex who are committed sexual partners.

Marriage is: a physical and spiritual union between one man and one woman in which they share all things, based on a lifelong covenant commitment that is designed to display the covenant relationship between Christ and his bride the church. -Sam Storms 

 

Many under the influence of the American culture have rejected this good and beautiful design created by God. They earnestly have sought to redefine and redesign what their creator has made good. They are like the clay saying to its potter “why have you made me like this? What are you doing? I don’t like your design!”. This is pride indeed to reject your creator and lean on your own understanding of what is right and wrong, then to accuse God of being wrong. It is arrogant to not rely on your Creator for everything in life including guidance for how to live morally. Does not the One who made you know what works best for your life? Does not the manufacture of a vehicle know how the vehicle works best? Why not humble yourself and read the owner’s manual of life, namely the bible, and let the Creator of your life guide you in what’s best for you. God loves you more than you comprehend and His design and plan for you is good. His design for marriage is beautiful and is a good gift. Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers.Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:16-17 ESV

The Gospel of Peace in Marriage

20130422-122224.jpgThe Gospel of Jesus Christ should influence every relationship and area of the Christian’s life, especially the marriage of believers. When one turns from their sinful, selfish ways and puts trust in Christ they find great peace (Romans 5:1), through the “Gospel of Peace”. Finding peace with God and no longer being His enemy effects the whole disposition of a person. And this peace carries over into every other relationship, especially the marriage relationship. The Gospel of Peace brings peace in our relationship with God and others by dealing with the problem of sin.

Sin & selfishness create enmity and turmoil in relationships (Romans 8:7, James 4:1-4) and the Gospel of Peace is the means of finding reconcilation. The Scripture says “while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son” (Romans 5:10 ESV). Think about how God acted toward you and I while we were enemies of God. He displayed love and kindness to us when we were disobedient, unthankful, unloving and unfaithful to Him. “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8 ESV). Through the sacrificial death of Christ you and I can be forgiven of our offenses and find peace with God.

This mercy & forgiveness that we have experienced through the gospel should also be extended to our spouses. The Apostle Paul wrote the Colossians and said bear “with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:13 ESV). Notice how Paul points to God forgiving you as the driving motivation behind your extension of forgiveness to others. Freely giving the forgiveness we ourselves have received is one way to “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts” (Colossians 3:15 ESV). For when we withhold forgiveness from others there is deep distress and turmoil (Matthew 18:35). The gospel impacts marriage relationships bringing peace and reconcilation to the most broken and struggling marriages. If spouses followed the example of Christ then there would not be divorce, and much pain, stress and sorrow would be avoided.

There is a precious married couple that my wife and I are mentoring. They recently turned to Christ and have displayed beautiful fruits of believing and embracing the gospel. Their marriage relationship is being gloriously restored by the gospel. One of them recently told the other “we don’t fight like we used to” and the other responded saying “this is how it’s supposed to be”. There should be peace in every marriage that is truly gospel-centered.

Believe and embrace the truth of the Gospel and allow it to shape your marriage into a glorious reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church. This is what God designed marriage to be, namely to display His glory. But every married couple has sinned and fallen short of displaying the glory of God in their marriage. God, however, gives grace through the gospel and by His grace He can make your marriage glorious. His strength fits perfect in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).

May God give grace & peace to you and your marriage.